Top 10 Metal Albums Marred by One Song

I was listening to Ghostface Killah’s Ironman recently, and, as always, after the torrid opener “Iron Maiden”, I fast-forwarded past the horrifically misogynistic “Wildflower”. (See lyrics here.) If that record were a foot race, it would have a blazing start out of the gate, only to trip and fall immediately. That got me thinking about metal albums that do likewise – kick ass, but for one dud. Below are the first 10 that came to mind.

What more can you think of?

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TOP 10 METAL ALBUMS MARRED BY ONE SONG

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10.

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Artist: Death Angel
Album: Act III
Culprit: “Discontinued”

Two words: FUNK METAL. Seinfeld called – he wants his slap bass back.

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9.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWkCCyCaDzM

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Artist: Morbid Angel
Album: Domination
Culprit: “Dreaming”

I’m not against all of Trey Azagthoth’s goofy video game interludes. “Melting” on this record is actually pretty cool. But who let Burzum into the studio to score Zelda? On an album full of heaving, savage murk, this dinky ditty sticks out like a sore thumb.

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8.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZyHx4Hx6mU

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Artist: Katatonia
Album: Brave Murder Day
Culprit: “Day”

Maybe I can cut Katatonia some slack, since this was only their second record. Maybe they didn’t know that it wasn’t the best idea to follow two songs of awesome doom with emo/goth that makes The Cure sound tough. Maybe.

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7.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wukbeZx2UVs

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Artist: Danzig
Album: Danzig II: Lucifuge
Culprit: “Killer Wolf”

“Killer Wolf” is good, even great. But it should not bat third behind “Long Way Back From Hell” and “Snakes of Christ”. You gotta keep the hits rolling. This record instead deflates with “Killer Wolf” – that opening drum fill always brings me down – and I skip it every time. Stick this at the end of Side A or something!

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6.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otSXkJWeSFo

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Artist: Black Sabbath
Album: Vol. 4
Culprit: “Changes”

This is yet another inappropriate third track. Why do bands feel that it’s OK after two songs of awesomeness to ream their listeners with “diversity”? “Changes” is a nice ballad, but it does not belong after “Wheels of Confusion/The Straightener” and “Tomorrow’s Dream”. Again, keep the hits rolling! 11 minutes into an album is not the right time for nap time. (Incidentally, with the following track “FX”, Black Sabbath has probably made more money from 1:44 of random echo effects than we will all make combined in our lifetimes.)

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5.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALse4RQSJk4

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Artist: Exodus
Album: Bonded by Blood
Culprit: “Piranha”

I hate “Piranha”. I’m sure I’m in the minority here, as the song remains on Exodus set lists to this day. It just sounds so… happy. Maybe the galloping riff is a reference to Heart’s “Barracuda” – but I don’t like that song, either. Fishy!

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4.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BufVO2da3h4

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Artist: Testament
Album: The New Order
Culprit: “Nobody’s Fault” (Aerosmith cover)

It’s rare that a metal cover is lighter than the original song. But that happened here. Testament took Aerosmith’s beautifully heavy classic and turned it into a lightweight strut. The New Order is all corkers, but for this travesty.

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3.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQuKhoJ9pso

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Artist: Megadeth
Album: Peace Sells… But Who’s Buying?
Culprit: “I Ain’t Superstitious” (Willie Dixon cover)

Covers are risky business. Dave Mustaine and Willie Dixon do not belong in the same sentence, much less the same song. Peace Sells… would be perfect if it weren’t for this abomination. It might have fit next to the crappy cover of “These Boots” on Killing Is My Business…. The ’80s had a terrible mini-trend in metal, hair or otherwise, of juiced-up, bluesy boogies. Only Van Halen could pull that off, and only through sheer charisma rather than actual musicality. This song sounds like a throwaway next to the compositions that surround it. How did it make the cut???

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2.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTnvalPxxbY

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Artist: Metallica
Album: Ride the Lightning
Culprit: “Escape”

A contrarian view has arisen that this song is OK. It’s not. It’s a weak, wannabe radio hit. (Lars Ulrich’s snares in the verses are cool, though.) I skip it every time I listen to this record. Lately I’ve been skipping past “Fade to Black”, too. It just sounds like teen angst to me now.

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1.

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Artist: Pantera
Album: Far Beyond Driven
Culprit: “Good Friends and a Bottle of Pills”

This is the metal equivalent of Ghostface Killah’s “Wildflower”; compare that song’s “Yo bitch, I fucked your friend” to this song’s “I fucked your girlfriend last night”. It is the grand poobah of metal songs that are blots upon their albums. In the context of this record, it actually kind of makes sense. Previous album Vulgar Display of Power is almost politically correct in its upholding of strength as a virtue, while Far Beyond Driven cranks strength into the red, and the realm of the politically incorrect – but that doesn’t make it any better. Maybe Phil Anselmo is just acting out a character in this rant. But given his volatility around this time, it sounds way too real.

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