Pictured: Andy Whitfield of Spartacus
by Cosmo Lee

Hating on bands seems to be a sport for some, so let's turn it into actual sport. A writer on anus.com recently posted a list of bands he hated. Why do people waste breath on bands they hate? (And why are bands things to hate? Politicians, injustice, bad drivers — if you must hate something, hate things that affect you. No one is making you listen to bad bands.) Let's use breath for something productive.

I've made a second soundtrack to The Spartacus Workout out of bands in the anus.com list. (To read about the workout and download the original soundtrack, see here.) It has one-minute excerpts from each band, and rest period interludes by Ulver and Sunn O))). I've field-tested the soundtrack, and it works. It's not as balls-out intense as the mostly-grindcore original soundtrack, but it should provide variation if you want to switch things up.


1. Rammstein - Weißes Fleisch
2. (15s rest)
3. Opeth - Deliverance
4. (15s rest)
5. Cynic - Uroboric Forms
6. (15s rest)
7. Meshuggah - Combustion
8. (15s rest)
9. In Flames - Morphing into Primal
10. (15s rest)
11. Dethklok - Comet Song
12. (15s rest)
13. Necrophagist - Epitaph
14. (15s rest)
15. Cannibal Corpse - Scalding Hail
16. (15s rest)
17. Wolves in the Throne Room - Crystal Ammunition
18. (15s rest)
19. Pantera - Strength Beyond Strength
20. (2m rest)

Note: The Spartacus Workout is no joke. (One reader tried it and puked — yet likes it enough to stick with it.) It is a full-body combined cardio and strength training routine. Three times a week is enough. Your body will need the off-days to recover. Adding more cardio or strength training risks injury. Switch out from it after 3-4 weeks to prevent plateaus. Get to work, and tell me how it goes.