Faith No More - The Real Thing
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Faith No More’s The Real Thing turns 20 tomorrow. 11 year-old me couldn’t get enough of it. I listened to it constantly for probably about a year. Then I left it behind. It’s not a “deep” record. Faith No More isn’t a “deep” band. I wonder what Faith No More means to people. It’s good they didn’t stoop to obvious themes like love and politics. But they were so “out there” that it’s difficult to imagine a deep personal connection with them other than nostalgia. This band was in that place at that time. For some reason, people want to hold on to that. The videos of Faith No More’s reunion shows are painful. Mike Patton sounds out of breath. He can’t hit notes like he used to. Nostalgia is a deadly force. It clouds one’s judgment and lightens one’s wallet. Now it also clogs Internet bandwidth.
Zombie EatersWoodpecker from Mars
Better, then, to remember Patton as a 21 year-old. What a voice! Even when it goes nasal and annoying, it’s irresistible. Patton had soul. It’s not the easily definable kind on actual soul records. He’s definitely emoting — but about what? (“You want it all, but you can’t have it / It’s in your face, but you can’t grab it / What is it?” I bet this is about lap dances.) I haven’t figured out what any Faith No More songs are about, and I doubt many of the band’s fans have, either. Faith No More didn’t seem to be about anything other than Faith No More. They filled up minutes with weirdness, skewed aggression, and catchiness — starting with The Real Thing, anyway. The stuff before doesn’t even compare. Anyone who defends the Chuck Mosley years is doing “the demo was better” posturing.
It’s a trip hearing The Real Thing after so many years away from it. The bright and clean sound takes getting used to. What I seek in music has almost completely changed after 20 years. What an innocent time, when I could tolerate slap bass, not to mention keyboards in metal. (I recently wheeled out Angel Dust and was repulsed by its keyboard-smothered muck.) It’s cool, though, to hear a snare drum actually sound like a snare drum. Most drums now are horrific aggregrations of triggers and compression. It’s cool, too, to find that I still know the songs almost by heart. Patton sure could write a catchy vocal pattern. This record has many “moments” for me. I loved “Epic” so much that I transcribed its piano outro by ear. The acoustic intro to “Zombie Eaters” was one of the first things I learned on guitar. What do kids learn guitar to these days???
My final takeaway from The Real Thing is how Sabbath-esque it is. The influence isn’t obvious, like how stoner bands detune now and play bluesy riffs. It’s more in how chords sustain and certain matters of timing. You feel it more than than you hear it. The guitar in “Woodpecker from Mars” is total Sabbath. When after 10 songs, the cover of “War Pigs” rolls around, it makes complete sense. Talk about owning a song! Faith No More made it theirs. It’s apt that Mike Bordin is playing the song behind Ozzy now. But, man, nostalgia. Enough is enough. My first girlfriend was great. She was perfect for me then. But not now. Au revoir, Simone. Au revoir, Faith No More.
