Crush My Soul, Make Me Feel
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“Crush my soul, make me feel” definitely applied to Bob Flanagan. He was a BDSM performance artist; Wikipedia says BDSM stands for “bondage & discipline,” “dominination & submission,” and “sadism & masochism.” I know virtually nothing about these things, and what little I’ve seen of Flanagan’s work makes me wince. Horror movies and death metal are nothing next to actual human pain.
However, Flanagan wasn’t subjecting himself to unbelievable punishment (e.g., hammering a nail through his penis) just for kicks. He had cystic fibrosis, which causes lung infections, gastrointestinal diseases, and other things no human deserves. Flanagan used BDSM to “fight pain with pain” – in other words, to control his suffering.
Evidently, it worked; when he died at age 43 in 1996, he was one of the longest documented survivors of cystic fibrosis. Frankly, I cannot imagine pain so great that it compels one to seek out other pain to distract from/conquer it. You can learn more about Flanagan’s life at the site Sheree Rose, his partner and artist collaborator, maintains.
Flanagan appeared in the video to Godflesh’s “Crush My Soul,” directed by Andres Serrano (of “Piss Christ” fame/infamy). Rose is the handler who hoists him upside down, an inverted Christ. Evidently, Kirk Hammett’s viewing of this video led to Metallica using Serrano’s art for Load and ReLoad.
This video has two sections interspersed with “band” footage. The first is a cockfight; the second is a church service. Serrano draws parallels between them. In the beginning, he focuses on the cross worn by the guy in the red hoodie. Near the end, he cuts in footage of chickens. In both situations, Serrano calls attention to people pitching in money. Perhaps they’re complicit in something?
WARNING: THESE VIDEOS CONTAIN EXTREMELY GRAPHIC AND DISTURBING IMAGES. DO NOT WATCH THEM AT WORK.
Godflesh – Crush My Soul
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MpbKTqU5C0]
Flanagan also appeared in the video to Nine Inch Nails’ “Happiness in Slavery.” I’m surprised I could find it uncensored on YouTube, as it’s one of the edgiest videos I’ve ever seen. The video was part of the “Broken Movie,” which was never officially released. That “grinding into grist” part reminds me of Pink Floyd’s film for The Wall.
Nine Inch Nails – Happiness in Slavery
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5akw3rUSMV8]
It’s all too easy to dismiss Flanagan’s activities as “insanity” or “perversion.” He approached them with dignity, humor, and courage that few of us have. Here’s a video with a voiceover of him reading his poem “Why.” In it, he explains why he does what he does.
Bob Flanagan – Why
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f6V2LefAi4]
