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Greatest Hits: Death Metal English

suffocation

When Doug Moore was manning the helm here at IO, I worked alongside him as the site’s deputy editor. In that role I often got to hear about some of Doug’s best ideas early on. I recall when my Gchat pinged with a message from Doug saying, “What’s a word that appears in a lot of metal band names?” A day or two later, we had our list of the 100 most overused metal band name words. But even better was one morning when Doug asked me something along the lines of, “What’s a really mundane task?” I responded, “Mowing the lawn,” which, here in New York City, would actually be pretty extraordinary. Again, a day or two later Doug had published Death Metal English, and, “You have to mow the lawn,” had become “BRING DOWN THE SCYTHE OF GODS UPON THE NECKS OF THE GREEN-RIBBED LEGIONS AND SWEEP AWAY THEIR WRETCHED BODIES; THOU ART IMPLORED BY ME.” Death Metal English subsequently made its way around the web for its hyper-literate and funny insight into an overblown and often silly lyrical tradition. Doug, of course, had unique standing to write on the topic as the vocalist of Pyrrhon, a band that, alas, does not practice official Death Metal English. If you haven’t read it yet, I encourage you to check out one of my favorite posts on IO.

—Wyatt Marshall

Read: ‘Death Metal English’

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