Bolt Thrower merch is practically mythical: as rare as unicorn shit and twice as fragrant (at least when you buy “vintage”). It’s only sold at shows, and Bolt Thrower rarely play shows — definitely no real tours or North American appearances. When Bolt Thrower played Maryland Death Fest in 2009, the merch booth got cleaned out within minutes. T-shirt prices on eBay regularly fetch hundreds of dollars. People want the gory goods; Bolt Thrower are content to leave them wanting.
So when 85 Bolt Thrower shirts appeared on eBay within the span of a single hour last week, it felt like the sky had ripped open, heaven shining through to free us from years of misery and lousy shirt choices. Designs from every era, every tour — one-offs and more-common album art-based designs — you name it: it was up for sale. Naturally, cruel fate conspired to crush my hopes yet again: all the shirts were size XL (I’m a medium). CURSE YOU AND YOUR FAT FUCKING FANS, BOLT THROWER!
But the appearance of such a large collection allowed a rare glimpse of the breadth of delicious designs out there. As a card-carrying Bolt Thrower nerd (they really should issue cards), I went nuts and saved an unhealthy amount of shirt images to my hard drive. These are a handful of the best.
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Bolt Thrower – “For Victory”
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I would kill someone for this shirt — preferably someone shitty, or someone who hates Bolt Thrower, which is a clear enough indicator that they’re shitty. It’s the classic Cenotaph EP artwork with a badass slogan up front, with the ultimate shirt-back phraseology. Of course you don’t compromise, Bolt Thrower. Of course you don’t.
Here’s a classic design, the artwork for one of my personal favorite records ever: The IVth Crusade. And printed on a ratty hoodless sweatshirt! Who doesn’t want a ratty hoodless sweatshirt with sweet mini BT logos printed on one sleeve?! Your search for the ultimate babe-repellant ends here.
For the lover of overpriced Dutch beer: No Grolsch, No Glory! Grolsch may be better than Heineken, but it’s still glorified hobo-swill compared to real beer. Bolt Thrower probably drink a lot of hobo-swill. I would begrudgingly drink nothing but Grolsch for a year if it meant I could have this shirt.
Here’s an odd duck: interesting logo choice, looks almost pagan metal, and — hot damn, daggered sleeves! I have no idea where the runic back design comes from, but the protean demon faces/feces look subterranean enough to date back to the early days. And we all know long-sleeves are the proper choice for the headbanger of discriminating taste.
War Master v1 — so fucking cool. Those early Warhammer/Games Workshop days definitely have their charm (even though this artwork wasn’t officially sanctioned Warhammer art, it was done by Pete Knifton of Games Workshop). The barbs on the impaling spear are a nice touch.
The ultimate Bolt Thrower fan doesn’t shy away from shirts featuring lesser albums; the true fan embraces them as proof that they celebrate the band’s entire catalogue. So Karl Willetts sat one out and let Dave Ingram of Benediction fill in on Honour – Valour – Pride: no big deal. Sure, Karl is better (WAY better), but Bolt Thrower at their worst is still better than, well, anything else. Sorry, Jungle Rot.
Simple, classic monochrome up front; the Chaos Eye and traditional bejeweled logo are all you really need. The back is just perfect. Blood graffiti reads: “Enter the realm of chaos — your nightmare has just begun,” and the runic demons return with a death metal version of the “…And Justice” font. I get all kinds of badass splatterpunk fiction and early ’90s horror-movie vibes from this. No sleeves = NO LIMITS.
War Master v2 — whoa there. So apparently the titular War Master is a mashup of Voltron and the Shrike? With a font that’s all Star Wars meets He-Man? So, every nerd thing ever, rolled into one. The deeper hue of the front image really brings out the blood, which makes a strange juxtaposition with the cornball back. Think of it as the two sides of Bolt Thrower — songs of war, nerd-game art — rolled into one spectacular shirt.
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Bolt Thrower – “Anti-Tank (Dead Armour)”
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Whoa. don’t be talkin’ shit about Mercenary…
Aaron! Aaron, Aaron, Aaron. Aaron.
Take some advice from a fellow half-human/wearer of small and medium T-shirts. You have to do what you have to do: buy the fuggin’ XL, especially if it’s Bolt-Thrower. It’s like it had any sex appeal, right? So if you have to wear a goddamn Bolt-Thrower branded tent, YOU WEAR IT. Trust me, it’ll stay on you.
“a goddamn Bolt-Thrower branded tent”
I laughed for several minutes at this thought!
For the record, I would buy a Bolt Thrower-branded tent.
as a 6′4″ male, i find it disturbing that you think think the XL is only for “fat fucking fans”
Apologies. Sometimes I paint with a broad brush for the sake of a joke.
I’m only 5′11″; an XL would hit my knees and leave room for more beer gut than I ever hope to achieve.
I’m in the same boat as I go small/medium depending on the make of shirt. It is my life’s goal to score a Bolt Thrower shirt, one that I can actually wear in public and look acceptable.
I feel like it’s a hopeless cause, however.
There is no way to look acceptable to the public in a bolthrower shirt
That’s the point though. A Bolt Thrower shirt makes a bold statement about its wearer: I probably smell like industrial solvents and stale cheetos.
You’re making a commitment to a lifestyle in a Bolt Thrower tee.
I wasn’t lucky enough to snag a shirt at the Bolt Thrower merch table at MDF 09′ in my size (I’m an XL, I know, fatty), BUT I was able to get a sweet winter hat from them for $10. And since Chicago winters are always brutal, I get to wear it everyday. It’s always a nice conversation starter too!
I suddenly remembered, Warlord had a Bolt Thrower punk design on sale at their MDF tent for $15, I snagged it immediately. My only lament is that Warlord shirts tend to run a half size larger, so I can cut off the sleeves and make it into a summer shirt.
“I have no idea where the runic back design comes from, but the protean demon faces/feces look subterranean enough to date back to the early days”
Its the symbol of Khorne – one of the 4 chaos gods from Warhammer 40,000.
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Khorne#.T9n38VKZZBk
I’m a rather proud owner of a long-sleeve War Master (v1) T-shirt. I bought it so long ago (definitely still in my mid to late teens) that I can’t remember where. I vaguely remember it being size large but shrunk so much due to repeated washing it fits perfectly (I normally where a small myself). It’s also grey as hell but it’s still one of my favourite t-shirts.
It hilariously attracts comments such as “What the hell is a Bolt Thrower”, “That’s tasteful” and “When did you buy that and why are you still wearing it”. Amongst the more metal minded of my ageing peers it tends to get the thumbs up. My sartorial elegance clearly knows no bounds
On a related note it appears to be nigh on impossible to find a decent Venom or Celtic Frost shirt in a sensible size…
a few months ago, rockabilia had small and medium celtic frost shirts – morbid tales and to mega therion. They actually do pretty well with S/M.
I guessing they’d sold by the time I looked although I may not have checked out that particular webstore. Ah well… It’s just rampant consumerism any way
Celtic Frost did have a good number of merch on them when they did their US tour in 2006. I really wanted that badass hoodie that had “ONLY DEATH IS REAL” on the sleeves. Oh well, at least I got to meet Tom G. Warrior and Martin Eric Ain and they signed some of my stuff!
I recently scored a Bolt Thrower shirt for $10. But I’m keeping my source a secret.
Primark?
If it’s a real deal vintage shirt, I envy you. I have seen a lot of bootleg “In Battle There Is No Law” tees from various screenprinting shops, usually selling between $10 and $15 (or on ebay), but those are all bootlegs.
From Bolt Thrower’s own website: “Official BOLT THROWER merchandise is currently only available at their shows.”
I seriously check the site every week or so for new developments. Some day, Bolt Thrower. Some day.
That runic sign is the Khorne symbol from Warhammer. Khorne is the chaos god of war. Blood for the blood god!
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
This article is supernaturally precient. About a month ago, I got a copy of “Realm of Chaos” for the first time and fell in love with it. It ignited one of those band obsessions that peaks with the desperate scouring of Ebay and other inter-regions for t-shirts. I was unsuccessful. Horribly so. I was sad. Didn’t even know that someone unloaded a bunch of Bolt Thrower shirts last week. Still I’m sad…
Haha, the Shrike! IO is getting real nerdy these days.
Do they offer size MSP shirts for individuals like you? Medium w/Sikk Pecs?
To be fair, I need size SBGs. Small w/beer gut.
Only Danzig does, unfortunately.
I’m currently wearing my Cenotaph shirt (medium size, no less) and feeling rather smug. I had to queue for over an hour to get it and many people were farting in the merch queue: totally worth it!
I have a classic Bolt Thrower tee, long sleeved, band logo emblazoned across the chest and smaller versions horizontal down both arms, no artwork. Got it at the Marquee Club gig London 1992, iv Crusade era. It’s faded to charcoal grey but still awesome after twenty years of occasional wear and worship. Twenty years! I was nineteen. I wasn’t aware how rare they were, nice article.
I haven’t worn a medium since 6th grade. Where the 2XLs at??
how the christ can you claim to be a bolt thrower fan and not know your warhammer
I spend too much time listening to Bolt Thrower to retain much else.
WEEDLORD BONERHITLER
I pinch my boyfriend’s Bolt Thrower t-shirt to wear, sometimes (white logo on black, “Outnumbered/Outgunned/But Never Outclassed” on the back over the eight-pointed Warhammer star thing). It’s a sign of true love that he lets me!
If we’re going to complain about shirt sizes, we might complain about how most shirts designed for men look AWFUL on women, but many metal bands don’t offer their shirts in women-friendly cuts.
I adore my Baroness hoodie with the poster art from their ‘08 tour with Kylesa, but it’s huge in the shoulders and small in the hips. It just looks really weird on me. I don’t even buy band shirts because it looks like I’m wearing a rumpled box with a band logo on it.
That’s why we (women) learn to sew, friend.
Darning denim vests and modifying t-shirts in front of the fire, that’s a woman’s place, heh.
Seconding Beth’s complaint about the lack of female-friendly metal shirts. My solution for the past forever has been: buy a men’s Small, cut off sleeves, scoop out neckline, pull excess fabric back with a safety pin/button. Works fine for when ya don’t feel like sewing, and is about as flattering as a bootleg Blasphemy shirt is gonna get!
Bolt Thrower merch is such a rare thing. I still got my War Master shirt from a around 91. It looks more like a rag these days. It’s one of those shirts that I can never get rid of. I don’t wear it anymore because it looks like it can fall apart just by looking at it.
I had the Warmaster v1 back then… good times.
Good call on The Shrike ! Love those books .
Hello friends. Can anybody tell me whether this Bolt Thrower War Master Long Sleeves is original or bootleg? I got this one from a vintage collector. I need to verify this because as you all know that there are so many bootlegs now and one more thing how to tell if a bolt thrower shirt that we find on online shopping (exp:eBay) is original or not?
Thank You.
Front:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10200358531472118&set=a.2541539824035.2142883.1419888272&type=1&theater
Rear:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=122676497804589&set=a.120901937982045.21318.100001867197571&type=3&theater
@Virman: its legit
btw: shirt # is a boot, i got the same one. its one of the better boots tho
*shirt # 8 i mean
That, my friend, looks just like the one I bought in 1991. Their shirts weren’t super-rare while they were on Earache. I’m calling real.
so, it’s a bootleg for real? what does it mean?
can you tell more detail about the story, I mean like who (record label/store) printed this shirt.
I bought this one pretty expensive actually.
i see nice stuff there! Awesome!
Take a look onto my Bolt Thrower collection, that i collect over many years. You will freakin out!
http://s595.beta.photobucket.com/user/xenomorph_parasitoid/library/Bolt%20Thrower
dude your link doesn’t work any more…
check out my collection… I was inspired by this page. BT rules!
updatet.now the link works!!!
http://s595.photobucket.com/user/xenomorph_parasitoid/library/Merchandise/Bolt%20Thrower?sort=3&page=1
DAMN, THAT’S NICE!!! I ENVY YOU… any time you wanna get rid of some of those beauties, let me know… & I dig the cat, too
btw, I forgot to spell out my link, so for those that do not simply click on user names, go here:
http://myboltthrowershirts.jimdo.com/
some of my shirts come with little stories connected to them…