Cerebral Bore – “The Bald Cadaver” (official video)
. . .
Move over, Ross, Chris, Paddy, and Davie. Hello, Simone. As “SmooneGrri”, Simone Pluijmers became an Internet sensation by posting YouTube videos of her vocal covers of brutal death metal songs. I wrote about this here, where you can see her “greatest hits” reel.
This young Dutch lady – her MySpace says she is 18 – has been honing her craft for years. She publicly made known her desire to join a band. Her skills drew offers, and she made some live guest appearances, but it took her a while to find the right band to join.
Now, as “Som”, she is in Cerebral Bore, a band of Scots. Not only does she follow the abovementioned line of men, she also sounds like one. You can hear for yourself in the above video for “The Bald Cadaver”. She sounds so manly that I had to look up reviews of Cerebral Bore’s album Maniacal Miscreation to ascertain her presence. Even when she opens up out of her growl into a low midrange, she still sounds like a man. Contrast with Angela Gossow, whose growl is impressively masculine, but whose midrange still sounds feminine.
. . .
Still from "The Bald Cadaver" video
. . .
“Female that sounds male” only goes so far, however. The real test is if she is a good death metal singer, period. And she is. She has power, clarity (for brutal death metal, anyway), and a strong sense of rhythm. If she’s this good at 18, and if she preserves her voice, she could go far (for brutal death metal, anyway).
It helps that Cerebral Bore are a very good band. I’m not even a fan of this style of death metal – Chris Bruni of Profound Lore Records calls it “polished, clean and technically precise and triggered athletic gear/rap influenced pseudo ‘death metal’ coming out today that should do us all a favour and throw itself off a cliff” – but I thoroughly enjoy the songs on Cerebral Bore’s MySpace. (Stream them below.) They are, in fact, not cerebral bores but actual songs with actual riffs. This band could share a stage comfortably with Dying Fetus or Cannibal Corpse.
Surprisingly, Cerebral Bore are unsigned. I’ve heard lots of signed death metal that’s much worse. Evidently they’ve gotten offers, but none were satisfactory. I can think of any number of labels that could be a good fit – Unique Leader, Neurotic, Grindethic, Sevared, Brutal Bands. Meanwhile, Cerebral Bore have pressed up 500 CDs of Maniacal Miscreation. You can buy it from them here.
. . .
Thanks to reader U for the tip.
. . .
. . .
She’s hot. I’d love to poop on her.
She is good. Quite good. So good I would have thought there were some effects on her voice. Maybe not. I haven’t seen those YouTube videos. The song was OK. Not a style I enjoy at all. Technical but soulless and despite its speed rather dull.
I love this video and I love her presence as a frontperson – how she gets into the face of the camera. And I agree with you Cosmo, as I hope this band gets picked up – there are a number of less musically inspired bands who are signed.
sweet, Alan Partiridge is in this
*Partridge
I’m going to go ahead and agree with Mr. Bruni on this one.
Good for her! I was hoping she’d attract some attention – looks like she did. I’m not really a fan of the brutal death metal scene, but I agree Cosmo, this band is actually pretty good. She does a good job of fronting it too.
Also, I’d like to know who is in the picture on the guitar cabinet.
That’s quite the Adam’s Apple “she” has…
Oh yeah, I like this shit.
@TheChaosPath As survivalist observed, the picture on the guitar cabinet is Alan Partridge…which makes me want to like this band even before I’ve heard the entire song.
bass slapping @ 2:22
oh yeah, and I with Bruni on this one too.
Wow! This girl has a brutal voice but this type of Death Metal gets boring as hell fast.
Cool song. A lot of the riffing is reminiscent of Cryptopsy’s And Then You’ll Beg.
This would be great if the bass drumming didn’t sound like a drum machine, almost completely separate from the rest of his kit. Her vocals are good though, I’d prefer a bit of feminine sheen just to separate them out from the rest of what the genre offers. And it also sounds like there’s a lot of double-tracking going on. Would need to hear her live to know for sure. Kat from Salome hits her lowest lows live with no help so who knows…
Chris Bruni gets mad points for not only batting 1000 with his label but also being discerning in his attitude towards modern technical death metal. He’ll sign Stargazer, but not a band like this. And bless him for it.
The bad is awesome, and she is very impressive. However, I don’t feel that she matched the music. Her lyrical timing was very odd and seemed like she was doing the wrong lyrics to the song.
Otherwise, I am very impressed. If I had my own label, I would sign them in a heartbeat.
Cerebral Bore (can’t figure out why they chose those two words) is about right–my mind went to sleep watching this–however, fuckin go for it. Fuck the tastemakers/illiterati. Keep workin.
Thank Crom for Bruni. Cosmo, you need to take a break from the mediocre female fronted bands, man.
Impressive vocals, although they sound somewhat artificial
The Cerebral Bore was a weapon from Turok: Dinosaur Hunter 2 on N64.
Cerebrally boring, just like 99% of technical death metal bands. Triggers, Pro Tools, and bad Photoshop are killing metal.
Hahahaha…awesome, Cosmo.
@ Josh,
“I’m going to go ahead and agree with Mr. Bruni on this one.”
YOU BASTARD!
She is quite talented and could be excellent with the right band, but again, for me this music is boring and souless, all riffing and no songwriting. Gojira for example are just as heavy but can actually write songs, that where the real talent is,
She is quite talented and could be excellent with the right band, but again, for me this music is boring and souless, all riffing and no songwriting.
Gojira for example are just as heavy but can actually write songs, that where the real talent is,
Howl howl howl gurgle gurgle howl howl gurgle howl gurgle gurgle.
Meh.
It’s impressive in some principled way that young women are just as capable of sounding like Big Chocolate as young men, but everything about this style of music leaves me cold. And oh, look, it’s another band-playing-in-deserted-building video.
Points for the picture of Alan Partridge, though.
I approve of this. Thanks for the female fronted SLAMZ Cosmo
This music is way boring…sort of like a very lame version of Dying Fetus.
The titles are also unintentionally hilarious. “Cerebral Bore” obviously has two meanings.
Calling a song “The Bald Cadaver,” well…I guess that’s better than The Cadaver With A Wighat. Does baldness make the cadaver that much more brootal?
Time to go listen to “None So Vile” again.
she needs a bikini. And this music sucks
@UA
Sorry man, can’t help it!
@Josh
Ha! Gonna make you pay for this…
Hate this. More Krypts, Vasaeleth, Dead Congregation please. Thank you! Krypts is still on heavy rotation because of IO. Thanks Cosmo.
The music is great. And yes, she has nailed that new bullshit death metal vocal style where it’s completely undecipherable. Basically just different pitches of pig squeals. That is what is bring death metal down. Give me John Tardy and Barney Greenway any day.
Man this shit barely qualifies as death metal, as nothing I get out of other DM bands is to be found anywhere in this style. The only band that does this kind of shit I like is Malignancy and thats simply for nostalgia value. However I do like she’s not going with the whole “I’m a girl tee hee” angle, there should be more females in metal but blaaaaagh, its one of THOSE bands. They should tour with Waking The Cadaver so a bunch of sweaty fat guys can hit on her non stop by their van.
They should tour with Waking The Cadaver so a bunch of sweaty fat guys can hit on her non stop by their van.
For some reason, I’m getting the image in my head of her shooting them all down, but doing so in her “singing” voice.
“So, you guys were really good…and…uh…you’re really cute and stuff and, uh…do you have plans tomorrow? Because I -”
“HUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH URGH URGH HURRRRRRRRRRGGGARRRRRRGHHHH GLURGH GLURGH GLURGH GLURGH BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and so basically it’s not you, it’s me”
Damn Cliff! Did you have to much espresso in your coffee today?
The album is enjoyable, sounds like Dying Fetus and similar acts.
The fact that the vocalist is a female doesn’t even matter – the band just sounds good and she’s great at what she does, dick or vagina.
Hope to hear more from them soon.
Haha, hadn’t heard that Bruni quote before, but it’s gold. What’s better is that it’s true. Enough of this REEP REEP REEP tech-slam shit. If it’s death metal then where’s the death?
Bah, anyway, whatever, to her credit this chick nails the vocals. Well-suited to the genre, but I’m still not sold. Only the Japanese can get away with absurd wigga slam, and even then it’s not that great.
Can’t get into this kind of shit at all.
It’s interesting to me to see how strong people’s opinions are about things like this. Is there still hope for death metal?
Hahaha…still love this song/video.
Som just joined the band 4 months ago, she didn’t wrote any of the songs, she had to learn the songs within a week before studio. The timings and lyrics arent hers, but from the old vocalist!
Im very curious about this when they are gonna write new songs with her timing etc. Her projects and guestvocals were very good with timing and vocals tho!