The best ad for anything, ever

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If I had a TV, I wouldn’t watch it. But if I had a TV and time to watch it, and could pick what channels it got, it would have three. The first would be all MMA, all day. The second would be reruns of Yo! MTV Raps, hosted by Doctor Dré and Ed Lover. The third would be reruns of the original Headbangers Ball, hosted by Riki Rachtman. That metal channel would have metal ads, and the first one would be for Tankcrimes Brainsqueeze fest (see above).

Seriously, this is the best ad I’ve ever seen for anything. (Admittedly, I haven’t watched TV for over a decade, so my data set is limited.) You have to watch this ad a few times to catch everything. You also have to watch this ad a few times because it’s great.

Here are some fun facts about the ad.

  • The 10 year-old is Ezra Lux, the son of Ludicra drummer Aesop Dekker. He runs the blog Crud Wizard, in which he reviews the world around him. On Reign in Blood: “Their music makes me think of a boat on rough seas, and that boat has me on it”. On Don’t Break the Oath: “The music is plainly metal, played well to make it sound much more complicated than it is”. And, perhaps the loveliest sentence ever penned in English: “I had a burrito, a good burrito”.
  • Mauz runs Life Is Abuse, which has brought you fine bands like Asunder and Dystopia. Life Is Abuse put out Ludicra’s debut Hollow Psalms, which came out recently as a beautiful double LP, and which needs a CD repress post-haste. Mauz also runs Monolith Press, a print shop that silkscreens posters, art prints, and album covers. David D’Andrea works there. He did the artwork for Intronaut’s Valley of Smoke (which comes out October 12; you can now pre-order it – see here). I could go on. Everything connects.
  • Tankcrimes is putting on this festival. The label has quietly put out ultra-cool releases like A.N.S.’ Pressure Cracks (reviewed here), an Abscess/Population Reduction split that I reviewed in Decibel #64, and a Toxic Holocaust/Inepsy split, whose die hard edition had artwork by Voivod’s Away, and which sold out pretty much instantly. If the video didn’t embed it in yr skull yet, remember the name: Tankcrimes.
  • Population Reduction is one of the bands playing in this festival. Their latest album is called Every Birth a New Disaster. I can get with this philosophy. This crossover thrash delight has killer artwork and just got a repress recently. Get it on CD and LP from Tankcrimes, or on CD and MP3 from Amazon. You can hear a song from it below. You can also hear them on Relapse’s recent This Comp Kills Fascists, Vol. 2.

“Black Metal Beach Party”

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If the video didn’t embed it in yr skull yet: Brainsqueeze fest, October 8 and 9 in Oakland.  That’s a month from today.  There’s an all-day free BBQ the day after.  The poster is below.  If you’re in the Bay Area then – go!

— Cosmo Lee

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