Comments on: OMG you like heavy metal http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/ Wed, 08 Sep 2010 03:00:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Invisible Oranges http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/comment-page-1/#comment-18354 Invisible Oranges Wed, 18 Aug 2010 22:12:56 +0000 http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/#comment-18354 <b>Minagica</b> - You're right about the small village. Even in a big city, there are only so metalheads, and you start to see the same people at shows. Given enough time, everyone can know everyone else, for better or for worse. It doesn't help the cause of metalhead females that standard-issue garb for them is often leftovers from the "gothic slut" rack. "Dismissive of your tastes" is certainly something to avoid in a mate, metalhead or not. Thanks for sharing your perspective. Minagica – You’re right about the small village. Even in a big city, there are only so metalheads, and you start to see the same people at shows. Given enough time, everyone can know everyone else, for better or for worse.

It doesn’t help the cause of metalhead females that standard-issue garb for them is often leftovers from the “gothic slut” rack.

“Dismissive of your tastes” is certainly something to avoid in a mate, metalhead or not. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

]]> By: Minagica http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/comment-page-1/#comment-18341 Minagica Wed, 18 Aug 2010 19:37:26 +0000 http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/#comment-18341 Conversion to metal DOES work :P - if the seeds are there and the person is just unaware of what they like because they just never ran into it yet. That was me with folk metal. But I guess that doesn't count as conversion per se. Being a metalhead female, I must agree with Anon3 that the odds are actually stacked against you, despite the male to female ratio in metal being huge: * even though I am very feminine looking, I'm never approached (it's also true I go to shows with friends who are guys, maybe that keeps others away, but still) * all my metalhead friends do date "normal" girls * when I point out other cute metalhead girls to them they always tell me that "Oh yeah, her! Yeah, she's hot but she's a slut" - and I think that has more to do with society's double standards and the fact that the metal community - especially regular concert goers - is a small village. So your odds of getting a metalhead bf are low if you are a metalhead chick, even if you are decent looking... As for dating within your musical taste: yes, there are many interesting people out there who might not share your taste in music, but it's just nice to be able to share if you are an avid concert-goer. It doesn't feel right when your partner is dismissive of something you are passionate about. And when you are in a band that takes up a lot of your time, well: he sure won't understand why you spend more time practicing than hanging out with him if he detests the genre you play. Conversion to metal DOES work :P – if the seeds are there and the person is just unaware of what they like because they just never ran into it yet. That was me with folk metal. But I guess that doesn’t count as conversion per se.

Being a metalhead female, I must agree with Anon3 that the odds are actually stacked against you, despite the male to female ratio in metal being huge:
* even though I am very feminine looking, I’m never approached (it’s also true I go to shows with friends who are guys, maybe that keeps others away, but still)
* all my metalhead friends do date “normal” girls
* when I point out other cute metalhead girls to them they always tell me that “Oh yeah, her! Yeah, she’s hot but she’s a slut” – and I think that has more to do with society’s double standards and the fact that the metal community – especially regular concert goers – is a small village.
So your odds of getting a metalhead bf are low if you are a metalhead chick, even if you are decent looking…

As for dating within your musical taste: yes, there are many interesting people out there who might not share your taste in music, but it’s just nice to be able to share if you are an avid concert-goer. It doesn’t feel right when your partner is dismissive of something you are passionate about. And when you are in a band that takes up a lot of your time, well: he sure won’t understand why you spend more time practicing than hanging out with him if he detests the genre you play.

]]> By: Ross http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/comment-page-1/#comment-5328 Ross Thu, 17 Dec 2009 07:19:04 +0000 http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/#comment-5328 Thank you StationAgent! Exactly what I have repeatedly observed for years! It drives me bloody mad listening to fellow metalheads saying a woman "isn't that great" or even "ugly" solely because she is heavily tattooed, has really short hair or a bull-ring piercing (which is seriously hot in my book). I kind of suspect some of these guys see pulling sweet non-metal princesses as some sort of affirmation of the masculine appeal of metal to the broader society from which they claim outcast status, especially compared to other sub-cultures like hip-hop etc. If metalheads (of all people!) can't appreciate alternative femininities why the hell should women see anything legitimate in our particular expression of masculinity? Thank you StationAgent! Exactly what I have repeatedly observed for years! It drives me bloody mad listening to fellow metalheads saying a woman "isn't that great" or even "ugly" solely because she is heavily tattooed, has really short hair or a bull-ring piercing (which is seriously hot in my book). I kind of suspect some of these guys see pulling sweet non-metal princesses as some sort of affirmation of the masculine appeal of metal to the broader society from which they claim outcast status, especially compared to other sub-cultures like hip-hop etc. If metalheads (of all people!) can't appreciate alternative femininities why the hell should women see anything legitimate in our particular expression of masculinity?

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/comment-page-1/#comment-5329 Anonymous Mon, 14 Dec 2009 15:42:13 +0000 http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/#comment-5329 I'm female and into metal (black for the most part- Satanic Warmaster, a bit of Merrimack lately, etc. etc.). I pretty much dress like a normal high school-aged teenager though, so it's pretty awkward if anyone asks me what my music tastes are. I'm either vague in describing my music, or I only really describe it to people I'm already good friends with, haha :)<br /><br />Also the majority of the guys that seem to listen to metal (or anything like it) at my school listen to stuff that I'm really not that into (Maiden, Metallica, Slayer, random death/hardcore...).<br /><br />So personally, I think it's unrealistic to seek out someone that likes exactly the music you do, because you may find it to be extremely difficult? I guess I think like that because I'm into metal that's not that mainstream (in way of metal), but if you spend all your time looking for another metalhead, you may pass over people you have a lot of other things in common with.<br /><br />Not to say that I wouldn't want to go out with a guy that likes extreme metal or anything, haha I'm female and into metal (black for the most part- Satanic Warmaster, a bit of Merrimack lately, etc. etc.). I pretty much dress like a normal high school-aged teenager though, so it's pretty awkward if anyone asks me what my music tastes are. I'm either vague in describing my music, or I only really describe it to people I'm already good friends with, haha :)

Also the majority of the guys that seem to listen to metal (or anything like it) at my school listen to stuff that I'm really not that into (Maiden, Metallica, Slayer, random death/hardcore…).

So personally, I think it's unrealistic to seek out someone that likes exactly the music you do, because you may find it to be extremely difficult? I guess I think like that because I'm into metal that's not that mainstream (in way of metal), but if you spend all your time looking for another metalhead, you may pass over people you have a lot of other things in common with.

Not to say that I wouldn't want to go out with a guy that likes extreme metal or anything, haha

]]> By: lasoti http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/comment-page-1/#comment-5330 lasoti Mon, 14 Dec 2009 06:55:09 +0000 http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/#comment-5330 @StationAgent, I think I love you.<br /><br />On topic: I've gradually been converting my boyfriend (I'm female) to my beloved black metal. He started out more of a death/thrash fan, but the more Watain/Dark Fortress/Secrets of the Moon/Drudkh I make him listen to, the more he likes it, mwah ha ha haaaa. My evil plan is coming to fruition. :) <br /><br />To be fair, he's always been a Satyricon fan (I think they're OK, am not a *huge* fan) so the seeds of black-fandom were there. We're going to see Satyricon/Shining/Dark Fortress next week together and I can't wait. Metal brought us together, and as we're both such huge music fans, it's great that we can appreciate music and go to shows as a couple; he's the best gig buddy ever. <br /><br />@Invisible Oranges: I have that KK-H book in my bag at the moment; as soon as my Peggle addiction fades, I am totally going to start reading it. @StationAgent, I think I love you.

On topic: I've gradually been converting my boyfriend (I'm female) to my beloved black metal. He started out more of a death/thrash fan, but the more Watain/Dark Fortress/Secrets of the Moon/Drudkh I make him listen to, the more he likes it, mwah ha ha haaaa. My evil plan is coming to fruition. :)

To be fair, he's always been a Satyricon fan (I think they're OK, am not a *huge* fan) so the seeds of black-fandom were there. We're going to see Satyricon/Shining/Dark Fortress next week together and I can't wait. Metal brought us together, and as we're both such huge music fans, it's great that we can appreciate music and go to shows as a couple; he's the best gig buddy ever.

@Invisible Oranges: I have that KK-H book in my bag at the moment; as soon as my Peggle addiction fades, I am totally going to start reading it.

]]> By: Invisible Oranges http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/comment-page-1/#comment-5331 Invisible Oranges Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:49:27 +0000 http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/#comment-5331 Anon3/StationAgent - In his book, Keith Kahn-Harris discusses this phenomenon of metalhead males dating non-metalhead females. I believe he makes the case that such metalheads lower/expand their standards in order to stand a chance of getting any play. Anon3/StationAgent – In his book, Keith Kahn-Harris discusses this phenomenon of metalhead males dating non-metalhead females. I believe he makes the case that such metalheads lower/expand their standards in order to stand a chance of getting any play.

]]> By: CheshireCat http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/comment-page-1/#comment-5332 CheshireCat Sun, 13 Dec 2009 21:12:14 +0000 http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/#comment-5332 My friends and I, if anything, seem to be targeted by weird girls because of our underground metal tastes. They have no idea what the fuck we're really into but they pretend to be like it. It's probably because we go to a really preppy liberal school and the scummy kids seem like rebels. Sometimes it's funny. Usually it's just sad. My friends and I, if anything, seem to be targeted by weird girls because of our underground metal tastes. They have no idea what the fuck we're really into but they pretend to be like it. It's probably because we go to a really preppy liberal school and the scummy kids seem like rebels. Sometimes it's funny. Usually it's just sad.

]]> By: themostoriginal http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/comment-page-1/#comment-5333 themostoriginal Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:41:13 +0000 http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/#comment-5333 RAPE 666 RAPE 666

]]> By: dschalek http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/comment-page-1/#comment-5334 dschalek Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:29:12 +0000 http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/#comment-5334 Steph doesn't give a shit, metal does not define me as a husband. Steph doesn't give a shit, metal does not define me as a husband.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/comment-page-1/#comment-5335 Anonymous Sun, 13 Dec 2009 10:57:04 +0000 http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2009/12/omg-you-like-heavy-metal/#comment-5335 Station Agent hit the nail on the head!<br />Anon3 Station Agent hit the nail on the head!
Anon3

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