Metal Grammar School

By
invisibleoranges
Published: August 19, 2009Tags: ,

Metal Grammar School is in session! It’s time to stop polluting the world with improper grammar and spelling. Here are eight of metalheads’ most common mistakes. An American education need not be a disability. Educational reform starts right here, right now.

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Could of / Could have / Would of / Would have

“Could of” and “would of” are not valid constructions.

If I could have, I would have saved Cliff’s life.

Its / It’s

Its = possessive adjective
It’s = “It is” or “It was”

It’s a shame that band lost its bassist.

Lay / Lie

When used as verbs, these are frequently confused. “Lay” usually requires an object. “Lie” usually doesn’t. One lays something somewhere. One lies down, or lies to get out of trouble. The past tense of “lie” depends on its meaning.

Barry Bonds lied in court. Then he lay down for a nap.
Barry Bonds laid his cap down before lying down for a nap.

Lose / Loose

“Lose” is a verb usually requiring an object. One loses things, like weight or a game. “Loose” is usually an adjective meaning “not tight” (or “of lax morals”).

Lose the keyboards, man. They have no place in metal.
I liked the loose feel of that jam session.

Their / There / They’re

Their = possessive plural adjective
There = various parts of speech; most denote location
They’re = “They are” or “They were”

Their riffs were strong.
Put those riffs there, before the chorus.
They’re the best riffs I’ve heard in years.

To / Too / Two

To = preposition
Too = “Also”
Two = “1+1″ (also, ill-advised Rob Halford project)

Take these two packages to him. Oh, and this book, too.

Who’s / Whose

Who’s = “Who is” or “Who was”
Whose = possessive pronoun

Who’s the idiot who wrote these lyrics?
Whose lyrics are these?

Your / You’re

Your = adjective meaning “belonging to you”
You’re = “You are” or “You were”

You’re in deep trouble when your spouse comes back.

- Cosmo Lee