with Your Non-Snare Hand
while Playing Blastbeats
Order pizza
Eat pizza
Surf MySpace for better bands to join
Text message friends: “Can’t talk. Blasting.”
Squeeze stress ball
Pet kitten/puppy
Read a book (have roadie turn pages)
Twirl drumstick
Twirl gloriously long hair
If you can’t be with the one you love…
You’re missing a lot of good ones:
-continuing work on your gnarly half sleeve
-drive (someone else will have to work the pedals)
-turn the pages of your own damn book
-play tennis (against someone who’s really really bad)
-do a crossword and sudoku
-write youtube comments
-program/tinker with your computer
-build a computer
-lace up your bangin’ Martens
-change the song on your ipod
The list could go on!
- operate the stopwatch to count your bpm
- scratch ass
- change tv channels
- txt message your friends that you can’t go out tonight because you’re ‘busy’
- draw a series of oil landscapes along with Bob Ross
- blast on a different snare. Other foot on a different kick pedal, therefore perfect the quadrupedal blast!
- eat lunch
- shadow puppets
- mute unstricken cymbals forever as an existential point
When I was a drummer I used to use my floor tom (I never, ever struck it) as a table with an entire tea set on it (pot, cup, saucer, creamer, sugar bowl, etc). It was kinda my “schtick.”
That only confirms my suspicions that toms are completely superfluous.
No “Enter Sandman” covers for your band, then, roxymuzak?
-post comment on Invisible Oranges
-eat Insect Warfare burger from Kuma’s
-check eBay for rare kvlt and gr1mm BM vinyl
-apply corpse paint to face
-arrange vinyl collection according to size and finish color
-feed cat
-call BFF and compare BPM’s
-search for Sarah Palin videos on Youtube
-download apps for iPhone
-put on Commando in the dvd player
-straighten hair
-crimp hair
-braid hair
-check newegg for sexy new computer crap you couldn’t possibly afford, what with being a metal musician and all
-check ebay for sexy records you couldn’t possibly afford, what with being a metal musician and all
-argue about something extremely important over the internet
-chips and salsa
- play with kitten
-one-handed knitting techniques
-twist hair into chignon
-take notes
-bus floortom
Floor toms are good for D beats though.