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Mighty though Google’s search algorithm may be, its workings are quite mysterious. When I look at search queries leading to Invisible Oranges, I can usually figure out how they got here. Typically they have something to do with either “metal” or “vagina” (explained here). Occasionally, though, I get some real head-scratchers; below are the 10 most illogical to date.
10.
fuck marathon
Actually, I know how this led here. (I once reviewed Fuck the Facts and Landmine Marathon.) But, really, I don’t know how this led here. I did a Google search for “fuck marathon” to see where Invisible Oranges would show up. I nearly went blind. (People are into some sick shit.) This site didn’t appear in the first 78 pages of results. Who passed up 78 pages of results for “fuck marathon,” only to go, “Ooh, a metal MP3 blog, I’ll go there instead”???
9.
free spring brekk sex videos
I have no idea.
8.
what do they wear in the 80s
Perhaps an interesting search, i.e., done by someone born after the ’80s who had absolutely no clue about what came before.
7.
romantic effects photoshop boyfriend
I mean, like, WTF.
6.
texturizers for curly hair little girls
Shit like this.
5.
currently the job comprise og 20 members ranging from one job to another
Or this.
4.
Are seasponges soft or hard
I give up.
3.
THINGS TO DO WITH AN OLD BATHUB
HROW I OU; SI IN I AND CU YOURSELF.
2.
pure hatred
If this site were the first result for this search, that would rule hard…like a seasponge.
1.
rock
What the fuck kind of Google search is this? And how does it lead to this site? Did someone click through, like, 1058 pages of results to get here? To get more hits, should I change the top header to “INVISIBLE ORANGES – ROCK”?
Laughed hard at this entry, dude. “What do they wear in the 80s” I found particularly chuckleworthy. It’s in the way it’s asked — as if the 80s, somewhere, are still happening.
These posts are always hilarious! Cosmo, where in your – I suppose – Google Analytics page do you get this feedback?
I’d like to formally request permission to use “Things To Do With An Old Bathtub” as the name of my next blog. Or maybe “Things To Do With An Old Bathtub…and seasponges.”
roxy – I forgot the possibility that maybe “80s” refers to a geographical area, like streets.
helm – I use a free hit counter service called eXTReMe Tracker (their cheesy spelling, not mine). They track hit counts as well as site referrals, including search engine queries.
andy – Be my guest…though I can’t promise I’ll visit such a site often.
Man, I don’t get nearly as many classics as you these days, but I just looked through a bunch of mine and did see this doozy:
“pill finder white oval tylenol er printed on front”
How the hell that possibly ended up at my site is beyond me…
What I also love is how now that these things are mentioned in your guys sites, you’ll get even more hits for variations thereof!
Yeah, that’s why referrals are filled with “vagina”-related queries. I brought that upon myself, I suppose.
I wish I could get my own romantic effects photoshop boyfriend. That would be as gay as sensual quark male companion.
Heh, that’s one of the best things about websites–the analysis of who’s finding you from where, and what they’re searching for. I think that the analyzers originally stemmed from wanting to know where your traffic was coming, so that they could cater to that and analyze demographics….but I don’t think they intended “maximizing laffs” as part of it….
How does one do a search query anyway?
anonymous – a search query is simply looking something up in Google (or another search engine). If you mean tracking the queries, there are any number of free/paid services to do that.
Ok cool.
Care the recommend any?
Well, as noted above, I use eXTReMe Tracker. It’s not particularly good or bad, but it’s free. My web host, GoDaddy, has a primitive search tracking function, but I haven’t used it much. I haven’t investigated this field beyond my needs, so you should Google around and see what’s out there.
Thank!
I got “Do bats take baths?” and the extremely puzzling “What is the difference between a big drill and a small drill?” I hope google helps the second questioner carefully through life.
Wow, Chris – there truly is no hope left for humanity.